That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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