I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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