he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Houston, we have a blender
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
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well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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