guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize