I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize