i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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