I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize