Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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