just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize