my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize