this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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