At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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