Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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