I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
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This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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