I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Boobs are out for the taking
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize