question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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