yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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