Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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