Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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