Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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