u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize