Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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