you're like a bully in the Christmas story
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize