Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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