How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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