Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize