I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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