I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize