How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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