The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize