I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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