i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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