I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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