she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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