my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize