i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize