I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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