It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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