His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
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I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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