Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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