yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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