So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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