The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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