you traded sex for a burrito?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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