you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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