i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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