How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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