Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize