On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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