can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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